Sometimes I wonder why I even try. I’m doing great with my weight loss, and the journey truly is just getting started, but sometimes I face challenges that make me question the entire thing. Willpower is my biggest foe, and I’ve already succumb to temptation several times since I’ve begun going along my current path. My willpower will never be strong enough to stand up to the greatest temptations on it’s own, so I back it up by just avoiding temptation altogether. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but for the most part, it works. This is especially good on the weekend since I just sit at home with my arsenal of healthy food and snack items. Work, on the other hand, is the biggest enemy that I face on a daily basis. There’s a constant barrage of edibles available in the break room, all easily within reach. Couple that with certain individuals that like to push buttons, and I’ve got a powder keg just looking for the right spark.

For example, we had doughnuts in the break room this morning. Sure, I would have seen them eventually, and they’re a pretty easy temptation for me to overcome. But I’ve got a coworker that comes back from the break room and tells me point blank “Hey, Luther, they’ve got doughnuts in the break room!”. I mean seriously! He knows I’m dieting, but yet he HAS to go and rub the things I cannot have right in my face! I’m sick and tired of that juvenile crap! It’s bad enough that I go to lunch and everyone is eating burgers and fries while I’m stuck eating the salad! Then they have to go and point out the fact that I’m held back from enjoying anything.

My other major foe is stress. I am classified as a stress eater. I can take a lot, but I usually deal with it by snacking, or having food I enjoy. Usually, when I’m having a bad day at work, I’ll stop and grab a burger after work and suddenly, things just feel right in the world. For me, that’s no longer an option, and it’s been one that I’ve been fighting hardest against for the last few weeks. Stress continues to mount as more and more work comes my way with less and less time to actually accomplish it in, all of it with unrealistic deadlines and expectations. I’ve fought this off by making healthier alternatives to my fast food addictions, but even those only go so far. The really bad part is this problem is definitely not going away anytime soon. I’ll continue to drive past the McDonalds and have to rely on sheer willpower alone to face and overcome the temptation that it brings. This weekend, it almost got me. Driving home Saturday night, I was pretty hungry. As I got closer to my home, the idea of stopping at McDonalds started sounding pretty good. Thankfully, I made a detour and went to the grocery. Yeah, I know you’re not supposed to grocery shop while you’re hungry, but I ended up buying some really healthy items that were needed (specifically milk and eggs).

The final issue that I’m facing is financial. Since I’ve started eating healthier, my budget has been out of control. It’s pretty much what they say – healthier food is much more expensive! Usually for lunch, I’d run out and grab a burger and fries from McDonalds which would be less than $4. Now, the cheapest thing I usually have is Subway, but there’s only so many times I can get the same $5 footlong before I get tired of it. Most of my lunches now range in the $8-$12 range – sometimes more, sometimes less. I’d eat at the office, but usually I need to step away for a while just to get my head together. Doesn’t help when you’ve also got a break room full of people chowing down on Taco Bell to face as well. Eating at home is, and always will be the cheapest way to go. It’s just not possible at work to cook the fresh items I enjoy like grilled chicken and fish. Also it takes dedication at home to pre-prepare my meals, sometimes which I just don’t have time to do. Because of this extra financial burden – it’s just driving my stress levels to even further levels – pushing the my last point even further into the forefront. One idea that I’ve begun to recently consider was going one of the bulk diet-food routes – most likely NutriSystem. That would allow me to have all of my meals, a specially prepared diet, with no need to cook or have anything ready in advance. Also, all of my meals would be rather low cost, compared to eating out nearly every day at work. Definitely something to consider. Unfortunately, the starting cost (almost $400) is near prohibitive for me to really even consider any of these options. I’d also be scared to buy $400 in food and not liking it! If it’s anywhere near the quality of most healthy frozen dinners – I can almost assuredly say that would be the case.

Somehow I need to get these aspects of my life under control, or I’m going to fall off the wagon so hard, I doubt I’ll ever get back on board.

Seems the harder I try, and the more I want to succeed, the harder my journey becomes. I faced temptations over the last week and succumbed to each and every one. I did pull myself back up each and every time, but I still am not proud of some of the things I’ve had these last few days. Most of last week went pretty well, until the weekend hit. I went out with a friend of mine on Friday. The main course was pretty good – all veggies and proteins. However, we shared a dessert and it was probably the richest, most decadent slice of cake I’ve had in years. It was absolutely fantastic! We DID share it, so I didn’t have all of the calories, but I knew it was something I shouldn’t have, and went for it anyway.

Saturday, I did great all day – eating light and keeping everything in check. Saturday evening, I went with some friends to see Iron Man. My friend recommended hitting a Bar-B-Que place before the movie and I thought it would be like Bandana’s or Super Smokers. Not the healthiest, but I could just get meats and veggies. Boy was I wrong. First, it was mostly BBQ sandwiches. Alright, so I got a bun, not TOO bad. The next problem was the “healthy” sides were unavailable – so I ended up getting mac and cheese and corn bread. Then I ate it all… every single bit. What’s worse: it didn’t taste good at all! If I was going to cheat, I sure wish I’d gotten something I actually enjoyed. Afterwards, we went to see Iron Man, and that just made the whole experience worth it! Great movie – highly recommend it to everyone.

Sunday – I’m back on track, 100%! I ate healthy, and even spread my meals out to several smaller meals. I spent most of the weekend working, so I really didn’t have time for exercise. It’s definitely something I need to work on.

So, this morning, I got on the scale, terrified at how my indiscretions were going to hurt me. I thought for sure I was going to see weight gained since my weight in last week. My estimate was about 313-314lbs, and it really scared me that I would put myself back that much. So, I stepped onto the scale, closed my eyes and didn’t want to look. Eventually I convinced myself that I would have to look, so I peered down, and saw it read 309.0! That’s a 2.8lb loss for this week!

I’m not sure how it happened, and I really don’t know how to explain it. I weighed myself last on Friday morning, and I was still plateauing right around 311.2, so I was already afraid of no loss at all. Adding on the crap I ate from over the weekend, I thought for sure I was going to gain. I was pleasantly surprised that this wasn’t the case at all.

So, what happened? Right now, I’ve got one theory I’m considering, but it could be completely wrong – I’m eating WAY too little. Everything I’ve read says that I should be having about 2000-2200 calories a day for safe, healthy weight loss. I’ve been aiming much lower than that – 1200-1500/day. Day’s 700-800 calories short of where everyone says I should be. So I guess the question is, should I raise my caloric intake to the recommended levels? It could be my body is in starvation mode and is fighting me left and right to hold on to whatever it gets. Giving it a little extra seems to have helped burn off a little extra. Please tell me your thoughts about this in the comments, I’m really curious to know what you all think.

Well, that’s not necessarily true. It’s not like I’m not tracking what it is I ate, I’m just not sure how bad / good it was for me. The meal I’m referring to is lunch. We decided to hit a local favorite Mexican restaurant, El Agave. Usually I’ll get a heart stoppingly huge (and delicious) burrito, or the Chili Colorado, but this time, I had to look for a healthier option. It came down to a taco salad or a “Mix Fajita”. I opted for what I thought was the lesser of the two evils and went for the fajitas. What arrived was both surprising and shocking. One plate had a heaping pile of meat and veggies, while another plate had rice, refried beans, lettuce and tomato. I pushed the 2nd plate away and quickly dug into the main dish (minus tortillas, of course). There was just a ton of food there. I’m not sure how much of each of the proteins there were, but my rough guess is 4oz steak, 4oz chicken, and 4oz of shrimp. I could be completely wrong on those numbers, but it was so difficult to tell since everything was just piled in together and mixed with a ton of peppers and onions. It was absolutely fabulous, but I’m still not sure how much it was, calorie-wise. For now, I’m just going to guess 800, but that could be WAY high (or way low, for that matter). Guestimates anyone?

Breakfast was a Fiber One yogurt for 50 calories. Dinner was 8oz of chicken (240 calories) and Steam Fresh Broccoli and Cauliflower (105 calories). After dinner, I had a 100 calorie Yogurt. So, all together, I’m estimating about 1295 calories for the day (give or take a few hundred….)

So, just before this weekend, I passed the one month mark of my new diet journey. I’ve had ups and downs, but so far, no serious derailments. I’ve had my cheats, though I swore I never work. I guess everyone has to cheat every so often, or a serious derailment is inevitable. This morning I weighed in at 315lbs. That’s a 3.4lb drop from last week! Still not the 5lb goals that I initially set for each week, but still very respectable. The biggest question in everyone’s mind is “Did I exercise?” Well, outside of a little walking yesterday, the answer is unfortunately no. This weekend did not work as I had originally planned, mostly due to a headache that sidelined me on Saturday. I had planned to do a ton of cleaning around the house, and ended up just doing a small fraction of my original gameplan, all of which was done Sunday morning / early afternoon. That unfortunately left little or no time for actual exercise.

When I woke up on Sunday, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was down to 314lbs. That inspired me more than anything else to really push to eat well all day Sunday. I started off with oatmeal mixed with vanilla protein powder and a cup of skim milk. A little later, I decided to have some toast with spray butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon. For my late lunch (almost 3PM), I stopped by Subway and had my usual – Foot long Oven Roasted Chicken with all the fixings. I figured eating as late as I did, I might be able to squeeze by without having dinner later in the day. I was successful in that endeavor, and that kept my total calories for the day down to under 1200. I was pretty confident that when I stepped onto the scale this morning, I would have dropped another pound, giving me my 5lb goal for the first time since the beginning. Unfortunately, I think dropping my calories SO much went against me, and my body decided to hold onto everything it got instead. So, instead of losing, I actually gained a pound. Not going to complain about it, but it was actually a bit discouraging.

So, this begins a new week, and technically the 2nd month of my new journey. I’m down 17lbs (not the 25/month I’d hoped), but still a respectable loss. And I really didn’t give up much over the last month. I cut out soda cold turkey, and just watched what I ate, avoiding as much processed food as possible. If I can pull another 17lbs the next 30 days, that would put me right about the 10% mark in the middle of May. My minimum goal is to have reached my PREVIOUS weight loss by the time my birthday rolls around. That would put me at 283lbs by early July, a total loss of 49lbs, or 32 that I have left to go. Ultimately, I’ll exceed that number, but if I can’t lose another 32 by then, I’ll be VERY disappointed!

So, it’s a new month – a fresh start once again! Goals for this month are to get the exercise program started. Can’t say I’m going to push myself to my limits, but I’ll at least make it into the gym regularly. Right now, I’m just going to be pushing cardio. I need to burn the fat, and that’s the way to do it. Maybe in a month or two, I’ll ramp up to weight training, though that most likely won’t happen until I hit about 60lbs of loss total. Other goals are to try and post more frequently. I can’t promise daily updates, but I’ll get as close as possible. I’m also looking to possibly put together a weekly podcast, probably teaming up with my old friend Fat Man on a Diet. Lots to look forward to in the upcoming weeks and months!

I was doing so good! Yesterday I had a banana for breakfast, and Applebee’s Asiago Peppercorn Steak (with extra veggies) for lunch. Then last night I had the Social Media Club event to go to. Even then I did great, avoiding the beer and having a GIANT bottle of water (in glass no less). When it became time to head out, we decided to hit Broadway Oyster Bar.

Broadway Oyster Bar should have been an immediate red flag – there was no way I was getting out of there and sticking to my diet. But immediately hearing those words, I was already salivating at the idea of having cajun cuisine. Suddenly, the diet was nothing but an afterthought, and I was ready for some food! Last time I’d gone there, I had a pound of boiled crawfish and a bowl of red beans and rice. I was dead-set on the crawfish etoufee, but when I sat down, only one thing drew my eye – the sampler. We ordered an appetizer, which was Cajun Chips (seasoned potato chips) served with remoulade sauce. I aimed to have just one or two, but immediately became enthralled with the flavor, and couldn’t stop myself. During that time, we had some interesting events happen with some of the other patrons, but everyone was just trying to have a good time. Eventually the meals arrived and I was blown away by the amount of food. There was a bowl of gumbo, and heaping piles of red beans, jambalaya, and crawfish etoufee. I gave the gumbo a try and was immediately taken back home – it was about as authentic as I’ve found so far in St. Louis. The red beans were the same as last time, very good, but still not like back home. The Jambalaya was great, but it’s really hard to mess that up. Finally, the crawfish etoufee was the best I’ve had in St. Louis – tasted just like grandma used to make. Before I knew it, I’d put away the entire platter of food! My guesstimate is that it was WELL over 2500 calories for that alone!

The thought of me losing control that much has completely frightened me. I’ve come face to face with temptation before, but have never lost this badly. This morning, I’m back on the wagon. The scale didn’t register any change (still at 317), but it might not have taken affect just yet. I was going to hit this gym last night and this morning, but ended up getting to sleep near 1PM, so I couldn’t pull myself out of bed too early. I also needed to make it into work a bit earlier to prepare for the day. My gameplan is to hit the gym tomorrow morning and get a workout before the day gets started. Spend the weekend there, and then I should have a good start for the rest of next week. I’ll let you know how that goes.

It’s been a few days since my last update, so I figured everyone was chomping at the bit to see how things were going. As I stated in my last update, I was going to incorporate exercise into my routine. I’m not mentally ready to head back into the gym yet, but I’ve got some workout DVDs that I purchased quite some time ago that I thought could be useful. Monday night, I popped “The Biggest Loser: Cardio Max” in. Sadly, I was only able to get through about half of the warm-up exercises before I just about collapsed on the floor. When I worked out at the gym, I would usually do very light cardio – walking on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes. Doing jumping, lunging, and other things wore me out faster than I ever thought it would. After that, I decided to call it a night, and went to my normal routine. Tuesday night, I gave it another try, with the same results. Heart rate climbs way too high, and I get out of breath pretty quickly. Similar results last night as well. So, why don’t I push myself harder? Fear.

My father died of a heart attack when I was very young. He wasn’t in great shape, but he was definitely not obese by any means. When he died, he was actually younger than I am now. One of the fears in my whole life has been that I was going to die young as well, just as he had. For this reason, I panic whenever I get any strange pain in my arms or shoulders, or when I suddenly feel as if I’m out of breath. Couple that with the fact that I live alone, and I’m scared of something happening, and my not having anyone there to help me. That fear keeps me from pushing myself harder. Maybe I just need to get over it, but it’s one of the few “phobias” that I have. (Fear of heights is my other).

So, I need exercise, and I’m getting afraid to work out at home. Unless someone wants to come over and work out with me, that leaves just one solution: the gym! So, my gameplan is to head to the gym after my social media event tonight. I’ll have to fit dinner in there somewhere, but I’ll find a way. Most likely, that means I won’t be getting there till after 9PM, which in a way is a good thing. Most of the crowd should have dispersed by that point. I’ll let you know how that goes. At first, I’ll take it show, but I’ll start to ramp it up. Going to look to maybe doing interval training on the treadmill.

Meals for the last few days have gone very well. I’ve had my french bread pizzas for a few nights. Tuesday was the only exception where I made turkey burgers with broccoli and cheese on the side. Lunches have been almost exclusively Subway, with the exception of yesterday, when we decided to hit Panera. I just couldn’t resist the call of their Black Bean Soup.

Finally, updates to the blog are just about complete. The layout has been cleaned, and everything should be looking like it’s in place now. I’ve also added a new comment system from DISQUS – which allows you to log in and comment through your Twitter or Facebook account. I think that might make it easier for you all to participate.

Anyway, I need to get to work. A lot to do before I head out to the Social Media Club event tonight. Hopefully I’ll see a few of you there!

It’s been a few weeks since I actually wrote an actual update to the blog.  I apologize for that, but don’t be worried.  I have not fallen off the bandwagon, as is usually the case.  Life has somewhat taken over, and I’m just so busy working on my day job and promoting my freelance work that I’ve had little or no time to dedicate to blog posts.  That, my readers, is something I need to work harder on.  It’s important for me to document the journey, the troubles I face, and the times where I succeed as well as the times where I fail.  Thankfully, I’ve had more successes than failures, at least as far as temptations go.

So, what’s new?   Well, the official weigh-in was this morning.  I came in at 318.4, only down another pound from the previous week.  Yes, it’s good, but not the results I was looking for at all.  I’m convinced my eating habits have greatly improved, and the fact that I haven’t had soda in a month is a true accomplishment that I’m very proud of.  But is it enough?   It seems the better I do with eating healthy, the less weight I lose.  Yes, I could starve myself and cut down to less than 1000 calories, but I think I’d be doing myself more of a disservice by going that route.  My biggest fear is massive loss of muscle mass.  I’m sure I’ve already done harm in that direction, but dropping my calories TOO much would only do more damage than good.  So, what’s a fat guy to do?

Well, there seems to be only one option remaining: exercise!  The problem is, I’m already maxed out with work, to the point where I don’t really have time for much else in my life at this time.  Even my biggest addiction, television, has taken a beating because of my career.  Sure, I usually have the TV on while I’m working, but I haven’t been paying attention to it NEARLY as much and have missed quite a few details in several of the shows.   Lately, it just seems like I’m working around the clock, trying to find ways to generate extra revenue.   Now, with my 3rd job FINALLY looking to take off – free time is going to become less and less available.

The solution – prioritize.   I need to find out what’s more important to me?  Is it my health or my career?   One is going to have to take a backseat to the other.  If my health isn’t up to par, then the career is unnecessary – so the choice is pretty obvious.  I need to spend at least one hour per day on exercise.  That might be a visit to the gym, or using workout tapes at home.  Either way – one hour PER DAY will be dedicated to exercise.  At first I’m going to aim for cardio.  I need to burn the fat more than anything else.  Once I get below 300, I’ll start concentrating on weight training.

So, for the time being, I think I’ll have to cut back on the work and studying.  Usually I spend about 2-3 hours on that, but that’s going to have to drop to one hour max each night as well.  I’m not going to cut back on my sleep in order to make more time.  I’ve actually enjoyed getting to bed about 10:30 each night and waking up for 7 – giving me over 8 hours of sleep total.  I think the extra sleep has been extremely beneficial and has reduced my actual stress levels considerably.

That does bring up a point though, the sleep HAS helped with the stress, but the stress ITSELF has been higher recently than ANY other point in my life.   I usually sit back and let life take me where ever it may, but recently I’ve been working to forge my own path in this world, and that’s been like fighting an uphill battle.   The stress alone might be a MAJOR player in my current battle as it is a major factor in the body holding on to excess fat.   Could it be my career that is fighting against me in more ways than one?   Definitely something I should consider further.   Either way, exercise IS the direction I’ll be going!

Finally, what’s up with the site?  Fat Guy on a Diet is one of SEVERAL sites that I run, but it’s the only blog format site that I maintain regularly.  I’m always learning new tools and technologies, and recently came across a new WordPress theme called Thesis.  Thesis isn’t a theme in the general sense, since it doesn’t provide this really nice look and feel with little developer work.  However, it provides a toolset for developers to build on to and allows for a very clean and consistent look and feel while being SEO friendly, and having VERY clean code displayed to the end user.  Yes, I know, it’s a lot of techobabble for a lot of you!   I’m working to redevelop the site using thesis and things were coming along nicely, but I was pulled in a different direction for a few days, and the site hasn’t looked right since!  I’m going to spend some time on it this evening after my exercise session and SHOULD have it looking pretty decent once that’s done.   Just know that once the work is completed, the site will be leaner, meaner, and ready to take on the world – just like me!

Also tonight, I’ll be posting the French Bread Pizza recipe that I made last night – it’s absolutely fantastic, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!

Well, it’s been a few days since I’ve really posted an update. First and foremost, let me apologize. I’ve had some internet issues and getting online to do updates has been very difficult the last few days. I’m happy to announce that my internet difficulties have been resolved, at least for now, and everything SHOULD be back on track! So, I bet everyone is curious to know how the weekend went. Well, I’m happy and proud to admit that the weekend was a success. I snacked a bit more than usual, but all in all, I stuck to the regiment. Saturday was mostly spent picking on things here and there. There was a few times where I seriously contemplated calling and ordering a pizza. I was talking myself into maybe just having a slice or two, but who was I kidding. It would never have just ended there. Eventually, I got up and decided to head to the grocery store. That endeavor turned out to be a LOT more expensive than I set out to spend, but ended up stocking up on a LOT of food I’ve needed for quite some time. I bought a ton of fresh fruit, some ground turkey, turkey burgers, chicken, yogurt, etc. I also splurged a little and picked up a bottle of Diet Hawaiian Punch. Okay, still not the best for me, but it helps me to get over my sugar rushes and it’s only 10 calories a serving.

Sunday went very well. I woke up and made egg sandwiches for breakfast. Just two eggs and toast with Smart Balance butter. This was the first time buying or using Smart Balance, and I’m not sure what to think. It was very tough to spread, and I’m not sure I really tasted it in the sandwich. With those, I had my standard two cups of coffee, both of which were badly needed. A little bit later, I decided to have some fruit, an apple and and orange. The orange was sweet and delicious. The apple, however, was not crunchy and delicious, but rather soft and chewy. Seems I’ve had a run of bad luck lately as far as apples go. Personslly, I like my apples to have a bit of crunch when I bite into them. Oh well…

Dinner was one of my old favorites – tacos! Rather than the unhealthy alternatives, I decided on chicken soft tacos. I’d go into detail, but you can find the recipe over in my newly created Recipe Section. The tacos came out to be absolutely fabulous. I had three last night, and saved the rest for leftovers. This should last me a day or two.

Later on that evening, I had one of my favorite snacks/desserts from when I was growing up: toast with peanut butter, bananas, and honey. Awesome desert that’s filling, healthy and delicious!

This morning, I did my weekly weigh-in. I came in at 320.2lbs – which means a total loss of 12lbs so far! That’s a 4lb drop since last week, which is short of my 5lb/week goal, but still very respectable. I celebrated with a light yogurt for breakfast.

For lunch, I decided to go to Subway. Unfortunately, they’ve ended their “All Footlong Subs for $5″ promotion, so I was stuck with the regular selection of 8. I opted for the roasted chicken breast with all the fixings, and honey mustard. Very tasty and filling. One thing I noticed was that Subway was going to start offering breakfast on April 1st. I’m going to review the calories, but might give them a shot on a few mornings if the stars align.

Dinner was once again turkey soft tacos. They were awesome again, but I refrigerated the tortillas when I was done last night. Warming them in the microwave had the adverse affect of making them a bit tough. Overall, just as tasty as last night, and I’m only about 1/2 way through the ground turkey / taco mix.

A little later I got hungry again, so I decided on my favorite dessert / snack again. Peanut Butter / Banana / Honey on toast. All in all, a good day! Very happy and proud of my progress. Good things are coming and I can’t wait to share the journey with all of you!

This morning was a pretty average morning.  Nothing really special for the most part.  I got into the office and began my work day with my cup of coffee in hand.  I began working through my task list when suddenly, new tasks starting coming in from all directions.  Seemed everyone suddenly needed everything immediately and I was quickly inundated with work to complete immediately.  I began to plan and prioritize as much as possible, knowing certain clients needed work completed with a higher priority than others.   I survived through the morning, though I went for 3 cups of coffee total.  I needed it.  I figured it was better than reaching for chips and Mountain Dew, which would be my normal stress relief.

Lunch arrived and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  I just knew for sure I wanted to get away for a little while, and didn’t want BreadCo or Subway.  We started driving when the idea suddenly hit me: Ruby Tuesdays.   My original plan was to have a petite sirloin and possible some of their amazing creamy smashed cauliflower.   I know that sounds disgusting, but it’s actually absolutely phenomenal.   In the end, I decided to go for the salad bar, along with a cup of the white chicken chili soup.  Overall, I think I had about 550 calories (310 for the chili and 240 for the salad, mostly from the french dressing).

I ended up working late in order to get work caught up.  When I arrived home, I decided to make up some fried fish that I had in the freezer.  4 pieces was a total of 500 calories, so it’s not bad overall.  They took 25 mins to prepare, so I had a can of sardines while I waited.  I like sardines, but they’d go much better with saltine crackers.  I might pick some up when I go back to the store.   Afterwards, not much as far as hunger – I’ve done pretty good on holding the cravings at bay.  There was an emergency that caused me to have to spend most of the evening working, so that might have helped keep my mind from food.

Anyway, going to wrap this up for the evening.  Eyes are getting heavy and I’m about ready for bed.  G’night everyone!

First off, let me apologize for the lack of updates.  I’ve had some internet connection issues at home, and I’ve been so overloaded at work that updating there was completely out of the question.  So, what have I been doing the last two days?   First, lets start with the weigh-in.  Tomorrow was the official weigh-in for week two, and I came in at 324.2, an 8lb difference from the initial weigh-in.   I was hoping for more, but I’m happy with the progress I made nonetheless.

Yesterday I ended up skipping breakfast, but I still had my regular two cups of coffee.   As soon as I arrived, I had work poured directly on my desk, and had to be diligent to keep up.   Around lunch, I finally caught up and decided to take a few moments for lunch.  My quick meal was something I’d been wanting for some time, Subway.  I ended up getting a footlong Roast Beef sub, though I did add American Cheese along with all the veggies.  It was tasty, but I did not taste the extra 120 calories that the cheese added.  Next time, I’m skipping that completely.

I wanted something different for dinner last night, so I dug deep into my freezer to see what veggies might be hiding back there.  I found a bag of SteamFresh broccoli, pasta and cheese.  It was 150 calories per serving, and consisted of two servings for 300 calories total.  Along with that I had a single chicken breast with sriracha chili sauce on it.   It was as awesome as the first time I made it.  The veggies were pretty good as well.   Then came the hours between dinner and bed.  Last week I was able to face that time and have little difficulty.  This week, not so much.  I started off small… had an apple, then another.  I figured fruit would be healthy and would calm my hunger.  It didn’t.  I then went for my next weakness, Peanut Butter.  I had a tablespoon full, 200 calories just like that.  It’s good protein, but still just feels like wasted calories.

This morning, I woke up very late.  Just enough time for my shower and getting dressed, so no breakfast again.   I got into work and once again found myself overloaded with work and severely stressed out.  Seemed like I couldn’t get the things I NEEDED to get done because everything else was crawling out of the woodwork.   I’m actually happy that I’ve been able to curtail the stress.  Usually when it gets to me, I reach for a Mountain Dew and a bag of potato chips.  I’ve been good this time.   Now, there has been a weekness that I’ve found at the office, butterscotch.  We’ve got them in a few areas around the office, and I find myself grabbing one a few times each time.  It’s better than having a bag of Cheetos, but it’s still not good.   Lunch again was Subway.  Once again, keeping things under control and not going for the fast food to deal with the stress.  Once again, I had a footlong roast beef, this time sans cheese.

The rest of the day, while busy, was without difficulty.  Once I finally arrived home, I once again started looking for something new and interesting to eat.  I found an old Healthy Choice entree and decided to give it a chance.  Steak Medallions with potatoes, carrots and apple crisp.  It was a decent meal, but at 310 calories, a pretty good deal.  The carrots left a lot to be desired, but everything else was pretty edible.   I was good for a while, then it hit again… hunger and cravings.  I went for the safe apple again.  I sat back, relaxed and before I knew it, I was hungry yet again.  This time, I went straight for the bad stuff – once again I hit the peanut butter!   200 calories, right down the hole.   With the lighter dinner, it wasn’t as bad, but still a BAD habit that I need to break.   So, that brings me to now.  It’s 10Pm and I’m hungry.   Doing my best to resist temptation, and there’s still quite a bit of it around here.

So, what’s a fat guy to do?  The only answer I’ve got is exercise.  I start hitting the gym and that’s an hour or more that I’m not sitting at the house thinking about food.  My problem with the gym is that each time I drive past, the parking lot is absolutely packed.  That just about guarentees I won’t have a spot on the equipment I want to use.   I’m doing great for my meals, but I think the snacking is going to be my ultimate undoing!   Any ideas?