Body Image

Weekends for me are a time of relaxation and catching up on the television, video games, and movies I missed over the busy work week. It’s also my time to catch up on blogging and personal projects. During that time, I’ll usually put a movie on as background noise since I can’t sit in a quiet room and concentrate like everyone else. Today, I went through my Netflix queue and found a movie that had been there for quite some time, “Disfigured”. “Disfigured” is a movie about these two women, one severely overweight, and the other anorexic, both fighting through weight issues. I thought it was a great movie, and found it to be inspirational on my own journey. It definitely drove in the idea that I really wish I had someone pushing me further and harder, keeping an eye on me and my daily diet.

One of the things it got me thinking about was body image and what my overall goals are for my weight loss regiment. When I originally started the diet, it was because my roommate got a Wii Fit, and I was too fat for Wii Fit. Well, I wasn’t completely there, but I was approaching the 330lb max and didn’t want to risk damaging it. This round, it’s because of clothes. When I last ended my diet regiment, I was on the verge of buying smaller clothing. A few weeks ago, I’d approached the opposite end of the spectrum, I was getting to the point where I needed to buy BIGGER clothes than I originally started with. Body image, however, was a very small part of my overall goals. More and more, I’m finding myself more and more worried about the body I’ll have once I’ve reached my goal weight. Why lose the weight if I’ll end up with a ton of loose skin and be too afraid to STILL take my shirt off whenever I’m swimming in a public area.

Honestly, body image has never been a problem for me. I’m confident in my own skin, and if it weren’t for health and clothing reasons, I probably would stay exactly where I am. More and more though, I’m realizing that losing weight will only make things better. It would be nice to be able to walk for several miles without getting tired or wanting to rest. It would be nice for people to not be offended by my looks and want to get to know me for who I am. These things haven’t bothered me, but it would just be nice to have results once I reach my goal weight.

So, what am I expecting? Not much, honestly. I’ll never have the body of a model, and I’m not expecting that. I just want to look healthy, a flat stomach, no six pack necessary. It’ll take time and hard work, but I’ll get there.