Sometimes I wonder why I even try. I’m doing great with my weight loss, and the journey truly is just getting started, but sometimes I face challenges that make me question the entire thing. Willpower is my biggest foe, and I’ve already succumb to temptation several times since I’ve begun going along my current path. My willpower will never be strong enough to stand up to the greatest temptations on it’s own, so I back it up by just avoiding temptation altogether. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but for the most part, it works. This is especially good on the weekend since I just sit at home with my arsenal of healthy food and snack items. Work, on the other hand, is the biggest enemy that I face on a daily basis. There’s a constant barrage of edibles available in the break room, all easily within reach. Couple that with certain individuals that like to push buttons, and I’ve got a powder keg just looking for the right spark.
For example, we had doughnuts in the break room this morning. Sure, I would have seen them eventually, and they’re a pretty easy temptation for me to overcome. But I’ve got a coworker that comes back from the break room and tells me point blank “Hey, Luther, they’ve got doughnuts in the break room!”. I mean seriously! He knows I’m dieting, but yet he HAS to go and rub the things I cannot have right in my face! I’m sick and tired of that juvenile crap! It’s bad enough that I go to lunch and everyone is eating burgers and fries while I’m stuck eating the salad! Then they have to go and point out the fact that I’m held back from enjoying anything.
My other major foe is stress. I am classified as a stress eater. I can take a lot, but I usually deal with it by snacking, or having food I enjoy. Usually, when I’m having a bad day at work, I’ll stop and grab a burger after work and suddenly, things just feel right in the world. For me, that’s no longer an option, and it’s been one that I’ve been fighting hardest against for the last few weeks. Stress continues to mount as more and more work comes my way with less and less time to actually accomplish it in, all of it with unrealistic deadlines and expectations. I’ve fought this off by making healthier alternatives to my fast food addictions, but even those only go so far. The really bad part is this problem is definitely not going away anytime soon. I’ll continue to drive past the McDonalds and have to rely on sheer willpower alone to face and overcome the temptation that it brings. This weekend, it almost got me. Driving home Saturday night, I was pretty hungry. As I got closer to my home, the idea of stopping at McDonalds started sounding pretty good. Thankfully, I made a detour and went to the grocery. Yeah, I know you’re not supposed to grocery shop while you’re hungry, but I ended up buying some really healthy items that were needed (specifically milk and eggs).
The final issue that I’m facing is financial. Since I’ve started eating healthier, my budget has been out of control. It’s pretty much what they say – healthier food is much more expensive! Usually for lunch, I’d run out and grab a burger and fries from McDonalds which would be less than $4. Now, the cheapest thing I usually have is Subway, but there’s only so many times I can get the same $5 footlong before I get tired of it. Most of my lunches now range in the $8-$12 range – sometimes more, sometimes less. I’d eat at the office, but usually I need to step away for a while just to get my head together. Doesn’t help when you’ve also got a break room full of people chowing down on Taco Bell to face as well. Eating at home is, and always will be the cheapest way to go. It’s just not possible at work to cook the fresh items I enjoy like grilled chicken and fish. Also it takes dedication at home to pre-prepare my meals, sometimes which I just don’t have time to do. Because of this extra financial burden – it’s just driving my stress levels to even further levels – pushing the my last point even further into the forefront. One idea that I’ve begun to recently consider was going one of the bulk diet-food routes – most likely NutriSystem. That would allow me to have all of my meals, a specially prepared diet, with no need to cook or have anything ready in advance. Also, all of my meals would be rather low cost, compared to eating out nearly every day at work. Definitely something to consider. Unfortunately, the starting cost (almost $400) is near prohibitive for me to really even consider any of these options. I’d also be scared to buy $400 in food and not liking it! If it’s anywhere near the quality of most healthy frozen dinners – I can almost assuredly say that would be the case.
Somehow I need to get these aspects of my life under control, or I’m going to fall off the wagon so hard, I doubt I’ll ever get back on board.
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